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Planet Waves | for May 7,
2005
I knew that "smile" suggestion would earn me some
commentary. One of our readers wrote to say that anger is motivating
and authentic, and that telling the truth and offering fewer phony smiles
seemed a more appropriate response to the world we live in today. With
thanks for her comments, I say ... she's right [unless the smile is genuine
-- so don't try handing out smiles unless they're genuine] ... and, by the
way, I wouldn't advise telling the truth [as you see it] to
someone, either, unless you've come to peace within
yourself.
Why not, when righteous indignation and anger is
what we're feeling? Because it doesn't work -- because if our truth
is perceived as an attack, the person we're telling our truth to won't hear
it. And it will always be perceived as an
attack.
It's a sucker punch of an idea, this need to vent our
spleen on the person [insert other options here: the bureaucracy; the
politician; the nation; yadda...] no matter how well deserved the rant --
because no attack, no accusation is ever met with anything but a quick
defense. [When was the last time you spewed out a condemnation on someone
and they said, "My God! You're RIGHT!"]
That is the way of mortal man ... and the ramifications can be as slight as
resentment [which is extremely toxic] or as lethal as
violence.
Course in Miracles says that
the only way to come to cooperation, to collaboration, is to stop that
attack/defend loop. We can only do that if we begin to see ourselves and
our response as part of the problem and look for solutions within
ourselves. It's quite an experiment, to say the least. We start
by no longer defending ourselves -- by no longer attacking or projecting our
fears out on one another -- by finding our commonalities -- by practicing
love for all of our brothers and sisters, and for ourselves.
Yes, healing our "us v. them"
programming involves a lot of introspection and patience. It takes a
lot of practice not to defend ourselves -- a lot of tongue biting and
self-edit. It takes a lot of courage not to accuse someone -- a lot of
self-evaluation to see our part in the situation. It takes a lot of
insight to see commonality in someone we aren't happy with -- even
humility. And practicing love for all humanity? Well, that's a
Divine project, moment to moment.
Sounds like a lot of work to find a
new way to deal with anger, yes? It is. It's the goal of a
lifetime -- or many, perhaps. But that is the way to peace,
personally and globally -- we already know what doesn't
work. Just look around, read the news, see the attack/defend loop getting
tighter and harder to break. How can we find any peace when we have made so
many the enemy?
Anger is real, it demands a response --
but aiming our anger at someone only escallates the grievance, so we need
to find ways to express it without harming others. When the anger is
released -- in letters we don't send, journaling, talking to a
non-judgmental confidant, kicking the waste basket -- it doesn't feel quite
so compelling, so dark. It doesn't drive us to attack -- it doesn't require
us to defend ... it's simply what we feel.
That is the point where we can try it another way, just
to see what happens -- no phony smiles, just real ones -- no accusations or
judgments, but rather, dialogues and collaborations. It's not all that hard
to see the perks of such a notion:
The day we define an enemy is the same day we start
a war -- in our homes, our workplace, our world.
The day we define a friend, cooperation begins -- on
that day, we invite in our Higher Angels.
Or -- to put it another way[s]:
Kindness is the light that dissolves all walls
between souls, families, and nations.
~ Paramahansa Yogananda Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth. ~ The Buddha, Dhammapada 223 "The antidote to hatred in the heart, the source of
violence, is tolerance. Tolerance is an important virtue of bodhisattvas
[enlightened heroes and heroines] -- it enables you to refrain from reacting
angrily to the harm inflicted on you by others. You could call this practice
"inner disarmament," in that a well-developed tolerance makes you free from the
compulsion to counterattack. For the same reason, we also call tolerance the
"best armor," since it protects you from being conquered by hatred
itself."
~ Dalai Lama
"War's gifts may prove bitter and empty in the end,
but that hasn't eroded the groove of war in our minds. Today, after a century in
which more than 100 million people died from war, we survivors still turn to war
because we think it does some good. The satisfaction of waging war cannot be
replaced by philosophy or religion. The Buddha and the Prince of Peace could not
have spoken out more strongly against violence, yet their beliefs have been
distorted into a cause for bloodshed at the hands of their
followers."
~ Deepak Chopra We must be the change we wish to see in the
world.
~ Ghandi With thanks to more of my hero's, above, who get the
last word today --
Peace ~
Jude
Why
Peace Begins With You
Seven spiritual practices for bringing peace into your life and the world around you. http://www.beliefnet.com/story/160/story_16073_1.html
The Dalai Lama's Statement on Iraq http://www.atc.org.au/news/news/20030320_hhdlnowariraq.html | ||||||
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